My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

Forrest Gump Benysigl0o

3 years ago if you asked me to describe how my life 3 years from then, 99/100 times I would have never envisioned it as it is now. Hard to believe i’m only 20 and those times are are probably going to end up as the happiest times of my life. Its easy for me to look back to then and realize how spoiled I was. I had a nice home to live in. I never had to count the dollar bills in my wallet because I knew at the end of the day it would be replenished as it always does. Always came home knowing there would be food on the plate. I acted like a machine would always automatically pay those stack of letters and bills atop the table. I had a Mother and a Father, back then, a somewhat functional family. The same ones I begged/annoyed until I got a nice car.

Things are going so well these days I guess. Im typing this in a room of a ex-church no bigger then my room at my old place. Only difference being I share this room with my dad and dog for $900 a month(cable included=)) There’s no laundry machine, no garage, no couch. I got lucky though, there’s room for a mini fridge(even though there is absolutely nothing in my fridge ever except for a piece of cabbage and coke). My neighbors are literally next door, makes me feel like I’m living at a dorm..yay? On Wednesdays, this ex-church I live in has like fellowship nights or something, consequently flooding the outside of my little house with A LOT of strangers. That car I begged for, its rotting at some dealership now waiting for me to save $7000 to fix. I enjoy it though, my dad drops me off everywhere I need to be like old times. Those bills on top the table that I said used to be paid by a machine.. well those are my responsibility now. Honestly though, paying bills is pretty fun especially when you cant afford them all. I literally never know what im going to get. No water, gas, phone, electricity, tv, internet, seeing repo-men come try to tow my dads car. Experienced it all these last 9 months or so. Insignificant things like turning off the lights, saving power, looking at that “how much you saved” on those grocery receipts, matter to me now. What kills me most inside is my Dad though. Im sure all of you guys reading this friend or not, have never and never will see my cry. The other day I saw my dad take off his shirt, he looked like he came out a Nazi concentration camp. I must confess a tear might have come down my face. Hes been working harder and longer then ever just to keep our lives sustainable. I know he barely eats anything if anything cause he uses his whole paycheck on paying everything on the bills first. When he does eat its always like 1 samsclub hot dog and at night if I didn’t bring anything home, nothing.  I’m thankful he has no health problems though. Dad I Love You! even though you will never read this cause you don’t now how to go online. Anyways this is getting too long so I’m going to cut it short. You know when you hear those stories about how a student has to take a break from school to work cause of financial misfortunes, and then they end up working that minimum wage job for the rest of their life. I’m scared I have fallen down that dark path. Its funny how much life can change in 3 years, it really is as Forrest said. I guess my dream is too retire my Dad to some exotic island. Going to have to grind through all those little bumps on that road to my dream.

benysigl0o grindingforthedream

ps. I havnt been to school in a long time, its 6 am, i have not slept .not gonna proofread, excuse my grammEr