With failing the LSATs and having my last semester in college coming into an end, my mind is in a state of utter chaos.  The fact that I have no clue what I am doing my next semester frightens me.  The only inevitable outcome I do know is that there will be a dramatic change.  No longer will I have to plane back after subsequent breaks, but I will stay situated at home.  Furthermore, no longer can I distinguish between two homes (one that I dread the other a respite from the cruel harsh realities of my mediocrity).  For how much I despise this “other home”, I can not say I am a little depressed.  I do not really know why.  Possibly because of the grandiose ideas that I assumed I would have accomplished by now are finally being realized as being utter obscene failures.  Possibly because I have gotten close to a couple of people besides my girlfriend and leaving would mean I would never (almost never) see them again?  All in all, whether I can pinpoint it or not, I can say that I am sad.

Yet, amongst this change, will come new opportunities that seemingly could pop up.  There are a couple of projects that are queued right now, which hopefully can salvage some of the failure that is my college experience.  Hopefully by next month (if all goes well), there will be two websites that I will be busily working on.  And eventually, hopefully, I can have a meaningful life that people will actually be inclined to check out my thoughts and feelings on topics!  Also, in the next three weeks I will again battle the evil villain that is the LSAT, ready to finally impregnate her (because as we all knowo the LSAT is a bitch).  By then, I am hoping that all my applications will be sent and be waiting excitingly to hear the good news (hears to being optimistic!).  Until then, I will wallow in the misery in my head, awaiting the hazy clouds of the future.