To All the Ones that I care !

So for those who weren’t able to come out to our week long, “Congraduation Party,” I’ve posted some of the pics on a flickr account. I swear, that was one of those most hectic weeks that I had ever encountered. It would go from partying 11:30 – 4am every night, waking up for class, GOING TO CLASS, grinding through school work, finals, projects, EVERYTHING, until evening, go home, and party all over again. All of our roommates were so beat within just the first day. But hey, it was TOTALLY worth it.

Here’s some of what happened. There’s a cap on flickr, so I won’t be able to upload pictures until next month. I’ll try to upload them if I remember. =x

It’s what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Humans, an intelligent life form – we never cease to stop achieving, never stop learning. It’s only been 3 days since I’ve graduated, and I already feel antsy not doing anything. I’ve already read 2 books, and I’m going through this third one faster than ever. I guess it takes the smack of reality to really teach me that every moment of life is an opportunity to better yourself one way or another. So here I am going to try and consistently blog about my daily occurrences or just whatever’s on my mind. There are plenty of times where I have a brilliant idea or ramble that I just want to jot down, but I just can’t do it because of inconveniences. Anyways, back to learning new things. There are just so many different hobbies, trades, arts, crafts, that I want to perfect, but to really be good at something consists of so much time. And to me, it’s the inconsistency of striving at it, and… just being super distracted and seeing something new that’s totally cool which makes me break from what I’m currently doing to doing something new. So whatever it is, I don’t really know what I’m trying to say. Happy Tuesday!

CROTCH SHOT!

Well, now that I’m graduated, I don’t really have much to do… I can bitch and moan about how much I’m scared of life. But for the time being, I’m just going to sit back and reminisce about how good these last couple of years have been for me. It’s amazing how quickly life has really passed us by. I can swear it was only 10 minutes ago, that I was just entering college. But if I think about it, so much has changed through the years. From the experiences that life has taught me to meeting so many different people that have had so many  different lessons to teach me. Life has been such an amazing thing that and I swear, it never ceases to amaze me and teach me something new. I’ve been blessed with the most amazing friends that were always there for me, and will always be there for me – regardless of how distant we grow apart. I feel all the people I’ve met through the years have helped me develop in the person I am now, and I honestly love who I am – I can’t live life with any regrets, and every experience that has occurred has led to me to become the person that I am now. So… what I’m trying to say here, is: Let life’s REAL journey begin now.

Haha, it seems like for every post I write, I just make excuses about how I don’t post consistently enough or what not. So for this point, I’ll just get to the point.

Life has been progressing at such a quick pace, that I guess I’m trying to live up what’s going on as much as I can before I graduate college. So instead of handling my business at how I should be, I’ve been adventuring, playing, and just going crazy on the regular. I can feel my body deteriorating on me. I’ve been having the most amazing time of my life, but… I think it’s about time to throw in the towel. Or at least get a couple of days rest before I jump back on the ship.

This whole concept of consistently writing about your day isn’t the easiest thing out there. My thoughts are always non-coherent and jumbled. So as I try to make something sensible come out of this post, you can just sit and read on expecting something exciting to happen.

..but it won’t.

One month until I graduate, and I’m as unprepared for the future as a child is for his first day of school. But like that child, I’m as excited as ever — maybe not in the sense of me putting on my new pair of shoes, and planning out my outfit, well, that will come later on. But for now, just the whole anxiety of it has been crashing down furiously on me. Don’t worry, I’m preparing for the future, and I have an idea of how I want my life to pan out, (A different story for a different time) But or the time being, I’m just enjoying the last couple weeks of my college career. And there’s one thing for sure — this has honestly been one of the most AWESOME times of my life. I’ll only get to have this much freedom and lack of worries once in my life, and I am damn sure going to take advantage of every waking moment of it.

Whoops, it’s been quite a while since I’ve had anything to say. Well, I’ve had plenty to say, I just haven’t been saying it. Anyways, it’s back to blogging! ALRIGHT, THIS TIME, I’LL TRY TO POST AT LEAST ONCE A DAY! If not for any followers still out there, it’ll be for myself.

There will always be memories of what’s been going on in my life in the past couple of weeks, but there’s honestly been so many random occurrences or what not, that there is no way that I’ll be able to remember this stuff in the future. I’ll start with…. *drum roll*… ALMOST 4 weeks until I graduate! I. Am. Getting. So. Old. I still remember when I first got into college — anyone not a first year was considered old to me, and here I am, about to graduate! What an exciting time? I dunno… I am pretty damn scared though. I’m trying to procrastinate the real world as much as I can. I’m only a 21 year old kid, and I’m about to enter the REAL world. After this last quarter, I won’t have that mentality or that stability in my life, where I’ll just end up back in school hanging out with friends, and grinding through whatever little minuscule things that I happen to come across. Bah, bah, bah. I’m SCARED! Anyways, I’ll be back in a bit.

Since I’ve been taking this comic book class, I’ve learned more and more about the Joker, and he is just too crazy of a character – his psychological problems are just out of this world.  Here’s just a glimpse of his insanity.

“Memory’s so treacherous. One moment you’re lost in a carnival of delights, with poignant childhood aromas, the flashing neon of puberty, all that sentimental candyfloss… The next, it leads you somewhere you don’t want to go… somewhere dark and cold, filled with the damp, ambiguous shapes of things you’d hope were forgotten. Memories can be vile, repulsive. But can we live without them? Memories are what our reason is based upon. If we can’t face them, we deny reason itself. Although, why not? We aren’t contractually tied down to rationality!so when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember there’s always madness. Madness is the emergency exit.. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. You can lock them away… forever.”

as i write this, i don’t give a fuck about capializations, grammar, punctuations, or any of that shit. my eyes are puffy as shit. words are incomprehensible, i’m just fucking lost.  but fricking dammit, what the fuck did i do? it’s not what did i do to deserve this shit? but I don’t believe i fucked this shit up so hard. Just by looking at how i was treating her, you could have seen this from a mile away. what, am i going to keep trying to convince myself that i treated her well? fuck man, i could have done so much better. no girl deserves to be treated the way i treated her. i. fucked. shit. up. so badly.