Bliss

-I feel like my life has been completely flipped upside down this past month or so. Its been almost 2 weeks since I stopped smoking cigarettes, trying to eat healthier, working out, new job, and best of all met someone really special. I know that shes probably never going to read this but this blog is more for myself. You seriously make me so happy, no one else can make me feel this way, and because of that I feel like I can’t lose you. Not sure how to really explain how I feel, but all I know is that I want you by my side.

-I put myself into a hole, and I seriously can’t digging it deeper. I need to hurry the fuck up and get out.

-I’m so scared to apply to new schools. I don’t want to be rejected. I don’t want to be a loser. I don’t want to be a failure.

-I hate how the weather got hot again. I can’t wait for winter.

Wall Street

Wall Street is fucked up.  There is no doubt about that.  The upper echelon of investment bankers are making a shitton of money even after putting us through a recession.  The sad part about this is, nobody is willing to stop them.  Our government as well is plagued with greed receiving bribes to prevent them from inflicting the necessary draconian punishment.  This starts my further rant on investment banking.

I abhor investment banking (and thats putting it lightly).  Possibly it stems from the fact that I envy the people who have taken this route to where there will be for sure riches and success, while I tried deviating and living my life by own rules (which I inevitably fail at).  Possibly it stems from the jealousy that people I believe are incompetent will be making substantially more money than me in the future.  I do not deny these facts.  Yet, even so, I don’t understand the point of paying bankers that much money to do some of the things they do.  The only people that I see fit to deserve this amount of money  are the more intelligent people who create the financial models needed for appropriate portfolio management (which I still disdain for the fact that their intelligence could be used for bettering our lives instead of being self-…..actually fuck it who am I kidding I would do the same if I had the intelligence.)  Yet there are people in the industry that are making tons of money just lying through their teeth to people abusing the ignorance of the common people.  For example, the financial crisis, where they abuse the power of making money off the common people ignorant (hopeful?) of their situations.  From this rant, what can I do about my utter hatred towards this industry?

I could become a lawyer to protect the interests of the people against the evil empire that is created.  In an idealistic world, yes I will do that.  I want to be one of the forefront representatives to bring down this tyranny.  Yet, I won’t and in fact can’t.  For if I pursued this route, I will come across road blocks to stifle my career and inevitably end up failing in life.  Two things would occur.

1) I would go against these companies where they could hire an assassin to silence me.

2) Any firm that hires me will probably be bribed by the amounts of money they received to put me away.

From these, I would be a black sheep, where no firm will hire me and I will end up destitute yet fighting the good fight.

Fuck that.  So I will just post my rants on this blog, and do nothing.  Because sadly, thats all I can do at this point.

Kool Kat?

Look at this luckykat abandoning all of us here that are grinding for the dream! His hopes and aspirations are now elsewhere, and long and forgotten in this state of limbo.

I’m just kidding. Luckykat will always be a part of the dream grinding family. ❤

Anyways, my summer’s pretty much wrapping up, and here I am trying to cram in as much fun as possible —  traveling/hanging out. I went on vacation with my friends (San f-rant-cisco), which was followed by quite the experience to Zion National Park and the Grand Canyon with my family. And I must say that the Grand Canyon was AMAZING. (pics coming eventually)

Although I had ventured there earlier in my life, I was too young to really appreciate it for what it is. And as a present goal in my life, I’m trying to visit all of anything that can be classified as a “Worldly Wonder.” As a result, I’m trying to plan and save up enough money to go to Peru and see Machu Picchu this summer as a graduation gift for myself. (So if anyone wants to go, just give me a heads up!) But yeah, that’s kind of what’s been going on for the past couple of weeks or whatever. So, I’m sorry about the delay on posts, and letting our fans and readers down.  Thanks for the support, everyone!

Less Money Mo Problems

Now that I have quit poker and no longer have any job, there is increasing spending but no income to back it up.  So thus, I will have to sadly rely on my parents money and probably prostitute myself in the working environment (please God no).  Until then I will be limited when I eat out, drink life water (beer), go shopping, or just live.  Hopefully something will come up (probably won’t) but it’s fine now.  I actually will have to budget accordingly DAMNIT.

San F-RANT-isco

This past weekend, I escaped into a haven of inebriated happiness. I went on a little mini-adventure up to nocal to visit Luckykat, and while there, a lot of thinking, pondering, and analyzing was done. I felt like a Tibetan monk that had exiled himself for however many number of years. But instead for me, I was just “bumming it” and savoring life for what it really was.

What started off as a four day trip began extending and extending, from one more day unto the next. (well, maybe only one day, but this is my story, so bugger off) And as a result, I started becoming home sick. I started missing the love, the affection, the people, and of course the sanctum of my own home. My mind became filled with a plethora of crappy thoughts. For a short period during this trip, I was running circles within my own mind about nonsense that shouldn’t have been there in the first place. Maybe I was just thinking too much; maybe I started worrying about excess technicalities that shouldn’t have even been on my mind, or maybe I’m just a worry whore. But whatever’s about that — that little thinking phase of my trip didn’t last long.

It was actually a great trip, and I had an amazing time — FANCY  for sure.

Now that I’m back home, I realized why I left in the first place. I realized why I went on this vacation: I left to escape the drama, the unnecessary burden of stress, the life.

QQ

RIP Poker

Thus, I have come to the conclusion I will keep the promise to myself in the beginning of the semester to quit poker after summer.  With its ruins, comes the phoenix of stock trading and possibly sports gambling.  I will also try to pursue different passions of mine such as entrepreneurship, Starcraft 2, and possibly djing/producing music.  Sadly, I will need to find another avenue of wealth soon or else, life will suck a lot.

Tied for the Title

Since Luckykat came up to me, and went, “hey, I’m owning you in posts right now,” I had to get my fingers back into action (hah, get it? since, I have to start typing again? yeah? Haha). Well, it is about time that I got off my lazy butt and started posting again.

The thing is, I have been writing, and I’ve written more than I have ever written on this blog. A lot of this said writing is rambled onto notes that I’m supposed to be taking during class, random pieces of paper lying around, or maybe just scribbled into my brain somewhere. I’ve been trying to compile all of these writings together, but I wouldn’t want to separate my notes or start keeping crumpled pieces of trash, you know? That would just be a little bit ridiculous. So instead, I came to the conclusion of purchasing myself a pocket-sized moleskin where I could jumble all of my thoughts, my sketchings, and just clever puns or really whatever that comes into my mind.

asdf

But the sad thing is, I “purchased” this little booklet from Amazon 3 weeks ago, but to my dismay, it hasn’t even shipped yet – -EVEN with my Amazon prime (2 day shipping) privileges, I’ve been left hanging, waiting for this little nifty booklet to ship out. The problem isn’t that it’s not shipping. It’s that this booklet has some kind of… chemical or something? that needs to be prioritized and checked out accordingly before a shipment of any kind is made. So until then, I will be writing on little scrap-lets of paper, and if chance be willing, I’ll be posting on Grinding for the Dream. Here’s to the story of our lives!