As most of you know, I stopped drinking alcohol early in February due to the reason that I wanted to shed a new light on life. I wanted to lead a healthier lifestyle and on the lamer side, I kind of just wanted to — (how do i say this?) — salvage my drinking virginity? HAHA. I dunno. Well, my goal was to stop drinking until the day I turned 21.  Err.. well, at least within a day or twos range of it.

I lasted until last night — I gave into self-destruction, and I drank until my hearts content.

And! for what it’s worth, I congratulate myself! I lasted from February 8 to July 21st. I might not be able to feel the full enjoyment of accomplishing my goal, but I’m actually quite content with myself for having lasted this long. A good 5 and a half months? To me, that’s quite the accomplishment! And to look at it another way, I won’t be missing out on anyone’s birthday’s anymore. I’ll be able to celebrate birthday shots with the great company of my friends. Though that sounds immature, I’m pretty glad that I’ll be able to drink with them. I’m young, and I should be enjoying life as much as I can. And if that means damaging my liver in the process? Then let it be — let the good times roll.

(Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not an alcoholic, and I certainly don’t plan to be one. But it definitely is nice to enjoy activities with the people I love.)

Most of you know that I’ve never been the ladies man — nor have I really been the expert at relationships. I never had a girlfriend in high school, and it wasn’t until my second year of college that I finally developed an actual ongoing relationship that’s surprisingly lasted until this very day. We’re going for one year and almost seven months now, and it’s quite the feat for me. I’ve never maintained anything for that long in my life, except my laziness.

It’s actually really hard for me to find a girl that I like, or for any matter, a girl to like me. For one, I’m picky as shit, so to just find a girl that fits my criteria, she has to be something special, and two, if she does fit my criteria, she’s likely out of my league. Simple as that. I came into this post with the intention of raging on and on about the fights I’ve been having with my girlfriend, to complain about this or that. But in retrospect, it’s not worth it. I should follow my own advice and look at the good things in life — to be optimistic about situations, and to savor what I have instead of bitching and whining about the things that I don’t.

So girlfriend, this one’s for you. I love you. And as much as we quarrel over insignificant things, we’ll always overcome it. We are just that damn gangster.

“The night is always darkest just before the dawn.”

So, I have a mancrush on Jospeh Gordon Levitt. Not only was he able to shoot an amazing film and have numerous amounts of intimate scenes with Zooey Deschanel (one of the loves of my life), but he also played quite the time/gravity defying maestro in the Christopher Nolan masterpiece, INCEPTION. Many have yet to see the film, so I’m not gonna critique it or anything — well, maybe just a little bit. 😉

And whatever preference anyone has about the movie, it is all solely based upon opinion. Nolan directed this movie in the aspect to leave open-ended questions and to have people think for themselves. Truly, there is no right or wrong answer. If you’re left thinking for yourself in the end, then the movie did its job. But if you end up arguing about who’s right or who’s wrong, then you haven’t learned anything through life, and you’re just disrespecting others’ imaginations and perceptions. So to anyone who has a strong opinion to the movie, just chill — enjoy this masterpiece for what it is.

As we all strive towards the unknown, every one of us is one step closer to our future destinies. Though we have no idea what we’re heading towards, it’s the idea of the uncharted that keeps some of us going. Like I stated in an earlier post, I really have no idea what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. But I do want to be recognized for something. I keep believing and trusting in the terms of “You get what you give.” But it’s as if the people who get the most, don’t give anything. Think of all the big shots that have gotten to where they are now. They’re selfish, self-loathing pricks. If that’s what it’s going to take to make it in this world, then I personally don’t believe that this life is worth the hundred and ten percent that some of us are giving.

(okay, scratch that — this was an anger post that I was ranting about some time ago. I was pretty angry for some reason, and this is definitely not my ongoing attitude of life.)

I do like to believe, that “I get what I give.” It’s my own way of dealing with karma and my destiny as a human being. It’s also my own interpretation to never give up and to keep pursuing for your dreams  — to shoot for the moon. Well, this is an old post that I never really got to finish, and I kind of forgot the point of it; but in a nutshell, let’s all just listen to New Radicals – You Get What You Give.

I might be too young to say anything about growing old, but it’s ridiculous how fast time is coming along. I’m entering my 4th year of college right now. I have to start thinking about what I’m going to be doing in less than a year. My life as I know it will change dramatically. I’ll be out in the world (hopefully), making the money, grinding, maybe start saving for a house. How ridiculous is that, right? I’m only a month away from being 21, and the real world is less than a year away. Questions of how I’m going to make a living, questions of whether I’ll be able to make it on my own. Forget any of that, even the question of whether I’ll get a job with my low gpa, and lack of internships.  There’s nothing differentiating me from the rest of society.  Bah, I dunno. We’ll see. I’m going to cut this post short. Growing Old Pt. 2 coming soon!

Though I didn’t grow up in the city, and my house is basically bordering the OC as well as the IE, I have immense pride for the awesome city, of Los Angeles. From our gold and purple Lakers, to the awesome mom and pops joints that make eating in this city a treasure of its own. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been on the 60 more often, hitting traffic, and getting a chance  to savor and actually enthuse over the historic scenery of the city and everything that has to do with it. From downtown itself, to our ghettos, to the beaches. Every where you go, you’re surrounded by deep culture and great dreams.

LA all day, everyday.

Picture stolen from thehundreds.com

To cut to the chase, I think a big problem to why I haven’t been writing as much is because, I guess I’m just not proud of my writing anymore. I’m actually not proud of a single post that I’ve written on this blog — not that I’m writing in this blog to be proud of it, but I can tell that my writing had decimated into mere nothingness. Maybe just a year ago, I was ridiculously proud of my writing capabilities . Everything seemed coherent, everything fell perfectly into place. But as of late, all of my writing just feels like rubbish. There isn’t any motivation for me to write anything. Well, there is. There have actually been a good couple of topics that I really wanted to write about.  Only I knew that if I were to actually document my thoughts, the masterpieces I created in my mind would likely fall to crap. The bright side is, instead of using fancy pantsy vocabulary in my writing, I’m integrating these not so little words into my day-to-day speech. So I guess that’s a plus. I’ll take that as a pleasant trade off for writing like a 5-year old. But I sincerely do want to keep this blog running. I think it’s a neat project that might lead to nice things. I just hope everyone else is as motivated… well, more motivated than I am, seeing that I rarely blog anymore. Anyways, I’ll try to keep up the posts, even though no one comes here to read my crap, it’s nice to know hope that someone’s reading something I’m writing.